Giles: So, all the city plans are just, uh, open to the public?
Willow: Um, well, in a way. I sort of stumbled onto them when I accidentally decrypted the city council's security system.

To make you a vampire they have to suck your blood. And then you have to suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing. Mostly they're just gonna kill you.

Buffy: 'Cause, it's the weirdest thing. He's got two little, little holes in his neck, and all his blood's been drained. Isn't that bizarre? Aren't you just going, oooo?
Giles: I was afraid of this.
Buffy: Well, I wasn't! It's my first day! I was afraid that I was gonna be behind in all my classes, that I wouldn't make any friends, that I would have last month's hair. I didn't think there'd be vampires on campus.

We like to talk big... vampires do. "I'm going to destroy the world." That's just tough-guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I _like_ this world. You've got...dog racing, Manchester United. And you've got people. Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision. With a real... passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off. Good-bye, Picadilly. Farewell, Leicester-bloody-Square.
Spike, in Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Cordelia: "Eww, what does this do?"
Giles: "It extracts vital organs to replenish its own mutating cells."
Cordelia: "Wow! What does this one do?"
Giles: "It elongates its mouth to engulf its victims head with its incisors." Cordelia: "Ouch! Wait, what does this one do?"
Giles: "It asks endless questions of those with whom it's supposed to be working so that nothing is getting done."
Cordelia: "Boy, there's a demon for everything!"
From Buffy the Vampire Slayer

First they tell me I can't hunt an elephant for its ivory. Now I've gotta' deal with People for the Ethical Treatment of Werewolves.

Oz: "Hey, did everybody see that guy just turn to dust?"
Willow: "Oh, well, uh, sort of."
Xander: "Yup. Vampires are real. Lot of them live in Sunnydale. Willow will fill you in."
Willow: "I know it's hard to accept at first."
Oz: "Actually, it explains a lot."
From Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Kendra: "Did I not see you kissing a vampire?"
Willow: "Buffy would never do that! Oh, except for, the sometimes you do that. But, only with Angel. Right?"
From Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Kendra: "I study because it is required. The Slayer Handbook insists on it." Willow: "There's a Slayer Handbook?"
Buffy: "Wait. Handbook? What handbook?"
Willow: "Is there a t-shirt? 'Cause...that would be cool."
From Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Buffy: "I wish we could be regular kids."
Angel: "I'll never be a kid."
Buffy: "Okay then, a regular kid and her cradle-robbin', creature-of-the-night boyfriend."
From the Buffy the Vampire Slayer

You're a vampire. Oh, I'm sorry. Is that an offensive term? Should I say 'Undead American'?

I laugh in the face of danger, and then I hide until it goes away.
Xander in Buffy the Vampire Slayer