Dark elves are courteous, urbane folk, and can be very amiable companions when they have no pressing reason to kill you.

The creators may die, but the game lives on.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.

No plan ever survives contact with the enemy.

Lister: Love is what seperates us from animals
Rimmer: No, Lister. What seperates us from animals is that we don't use our tongues to clean our own genitals.

I owe Mr.Lister everything sir, if it wasn't for him, I'd be normal.

And that being the case, and since you, Captain, are invading our country by night, under cover of darkness, and I am a humble civilian, I think there's no rule to stop me from beating seven kinds of crap out of you until you tell me why you came here and when the rest of your mates are going to arrive. And that may take some time, sir, because up until now I have only discovered five types of crap.

GM: Why on earth would you want his pants?
Rogue: I don't want them, I just want to see if I can steal them.
GM: Okay, Make your roll.
Rogue: *rolls*
GM: You now have his pants.

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have.

It's only an Ancient Green Dragon, guys, we can take it!

One point twenty-one gigawatts?! What was I thinking?

He wasn't gonna' bite you!

If you're going through hell, keep going.

Kill a man, and you are an assassin. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill everyone, and you are a god.

I'm gonna stomp 'em to dust. I'm gonna grind their bones. I'm gonna burn down dere towns and cities. I'm gonna pile 'em up inna big fire and roast 'em. I'm gonna bash 'eads, break faces, and stomp on da bits dat are left. An' den I'm gonna get really mean.